Top 75 Funny Daily Affirmations

List of funny daily affirmations

• Put on your positive pants
• Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it
• Why become moody when you can shake your booty
• When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “plot twist” and move on
• Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside
• Was it a bad day? Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?
• Some see a weed, I see a wish
• Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up
• Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow
• Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat
• Chin up princess or the crown slips
• If life give you melons you might be dyslexic
• I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I am going to be today
• Excuse, I have to go be awesome
• Think like a proton always positive
• Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip
• I am thankful for all those difficult people in my life. They have show me exactly who I do not want to be
• Not everyone has to like you. Not everyone has taste.
• We get so worried about being “pretty” let’s be pretty kind, pretty funny, pretty smart, pretty strong.
• Be brace. Even if you’re not, pretend to be.
• Get your happy on
• When shit happens turn it into fertilizer
• It’s ever too late to get your shit together
• How to be successful: focus on your own shit
• Be happy, it drives people crazy
• Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, they’re behind you for a reason
• Compliment people: magnify their strengths, not their weaknesses
• You can’t make everyone happy. You aren’t a jar of Nutella
• Life is better when you’re laughing
• Dear universe, I am totally open to some awesome coming my way
• Amazing things happen when you distance yourself from negativity
• If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for like 8 years, you can believe in yourself for like 5 minutes
• Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win
• If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.
• Cry a river. Build a bridge. Get over it.
• Surround yourself with pizza not negativity
• Don’t ruin a good today by thinking about a bad day yesterday. Let it go
• The idea is to die young. As late as possible.
• Remember even your worst days on have 24 hours
• If you cannot be positive then at least be quiet
• Nothing can dim the light that shines from within
• Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right
• Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up
• What consumes your mind, controls your life
• Expect nothing and appreciate everything
• No matter how you feel. Get up, dress up, show up and never give up.
• Don’t let anyone ever dull your sparkle
• You may think you’ll never get over it, but you will, and you’ll be fine
• A negative mind will never give you a positive life
• Worry about loving yourself, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you
• Kill them with success and bury them with a smile
• You have to be odd to be number one
• You mistakes don’t define you
• No beauty shines brighter than that of a good heart
• Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny
• Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore.
• A secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is, instead of what you think it should be
• It’s important to give it all you have while you have the chance
• Your past is just a story and once you realize this, it has no power over you
• Be thankful for all the troubles that you don’t have
• Don’t forget to be awesome
• And in that moment I swear I still didn’t give a shit
• To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
• Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it
• You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, and strong enough. Believe it and never let insecurity run your life.
• Your vibe attracts your tribe
• Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody
• I’m gonna make the rest of my life. The best of my life.
• It is what it is. Accept it and move on.
• Never let somebody waste your time, twice.
• Don’t let your fear of what could happen making nothing happen
• Broken crayon still color
• I release all disease from my body and welcome health, love, and happiness into my life
• Oh, yes you certainly fucking can
• I persevere. I am relentless. I keep going.
• Each day, I automatically and successfully get healthier and healthier
• I love taking good care of myself
• You can and you will
• You must believe it to receive it
• Feelings are just visitors, let them come and go
• Slow down. Calm down. Don’t worry. Don’t hurry. Trust the process.
• Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
• In every moment of my day. I radiate calmness & tranquility. I am still within myself.
• Take a second to think about how blessed you are.
• Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on
• Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it